Forgive Yourself First
Do you want freedom, perfect health, to feel joy and experience a truly magical and abundant life?
If any of these occurrences still elude you, it could mean you are in need of forgiving. Signs that you have mental and/or emotional areas that still challenge you in your attempts to move forward in your life include issues such as:
•When you think of someone all you can remember is the injury that they caused you.
• You carry around feelings of hate or anger for someone and can’t let go of these negative feelings.
• Certain desires that you really want continue to elude you.
• Remembering past traumas still make your heart sting.
• You have trouble feeling compassion or having goodwill for a person.
At some point in all of our lives, everyone takes stock of the areas that are holding us back from being free, healthy, full of joy and experiencing a really abundant life. These areas typically include trauma from childhood which need to be uncovered and bathed in a process of forgiveness.
We also all have certain trigger points that continue to drive us crazy because they are just part of our personality. For me injustice does it every time. I have to practice really hard to love someone who I feel has ‘wronged’ me. The good news is that it is possible.
Make no mistake; if you choose not to forgive, it is you who reaps the uncomfortable consequences which can be dramatic. Recently a friend of mine experienced a mild stroke and after some personal examination, she realized how much anger she had been carrying around for her daughter’s husband who had cheated in his marriage.
Logically she knew it wasn’t her problem to solve, but she couldn’t be in his presence without feeling a lot of negative emotions. When you make forgiveness a practice in your life, it is your health and well-being that benefits.
So how can we open our hearts and let love heal these stuck places in our lives?
I will give you an example of something that I recently experienced as I believe it is a powerful example of the need to forgive and how if you choose not to, you will have trouble moving forward in your own life.
For years I have had digestion, stomach and gallbladder issues. My response was to see both allopathic doctors and alternative medicine healers to restore my health. Believe me when I say most of it was a waste of a lot of time and money. Not because they weren’t knowledgeable or good at what they do because I learned a lot about maintaining good health. But the solution to the problem for me came when I was ready and willing to deal with the cause.
For readers who do not believe in reincarnation, please forgive me because for you I am about to go off the rails. This process of forgiveness in my life involved a past life, but the principles of forgiveness still apply.
Years ago I did a past-life regression and remembered a lifetime in which I was killed for getting pregnant as a single woman. I have clear memories of the clothes the people were wearing and it felt like we were Pilgrims possibly in the 1600s.
The townspeople took me out in the middle of the night and placed a large slab of wood on top of me. They then continued to add stones until I was crushed under the weight. Unfortunately, I was also pregnant at the time, and I relived the entire experience of feeling my child die first.
The married man in this situation, whom I was in love with, did not tell the truth and admit to being the father and did nothing to stop what was happening. I felt his sadness and also his inability to speak up for what was right. That person is also in my current life.
Even though this regression helped me to understand that I was still carrying influences from this past life, I was able to release the emotional field entirely. I didn’t know that at the time.
It wasn’t until recently that I connected the physical problems with my stomach to this memory. I also carried a feeling of great shame for wanting sex in this lifetime. Innately I felt my sexual needs were wrong and bad but I never really understood why.
Imagine how much my current life improved as I began to forgive this lifetime.
I first had to forgive myself for seducing a married man. Then I had to forgive the man who didn’t have the courage to tell the truth. Lastly, I had to forgive the townspeople for killing me and my child.
I used several steps in my Essential Empowerment model to handle this process of forgiving. (You can find this model in my book, Always Choose Love: Six Steps to Open Your Heart and Transform Your Life.)
The first step was to meditate and connect with Essence. I needed to be in a loving state with my heart as open as possible. I did all three of these at once, but if you find the process overwhelming emotionally, always stop and come back to it another time.
Then I saw myself in that lifetime as the young and vulnerable child that I was and how the time, situation and my choices had caused me to meet this fate. I imagined surrounding her heart with a beautiful pink light.
I stayed centered in love and kept this flow going until I felt a release. I mentally repeated the words, “I forgive you.” When I was done, my body felt lighter, and I sensed an inner smile go out to myself in that lifetime.
It is interesting to note that of the three elements I needed to work with, forgiving me was the toughest and took the most out of me emotionally.
The next step was forgiving the man involved in that lifetime, who I know in this life, so I just imagined him for this process.
In my mind, I reached out my hand to him and asked him to put his hand in mine. Then I mentally forgave him for not having the courage to speak up and sent love from my heart to his. Again, I stayed in this state until I felt my body release the stuck energy.
For the townspeople I couldn’t pinpoint anyone specifically, so I just meditated on the idea that these people had come to witness this event and that their religious beliefs allowed them to think this was the right thing to do. Some part of me understood this mentality and didn’t have a lot of trouble forgiving them. I just said a prayer and let go of the thought.